


my thoughts on you

by lmjposie



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kissing in the Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-11 23:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18434150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmjposie/pseuds/lmjposie
Summary: Inspired by the edit on twitter of posie kissing in the rain.





	my thoughts on you

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone say thank you Jinella for suggesting that I do this. Hope it doesn’t totally suck.
> 
>  
> 
> Song: my thoughts on you - the band CAMINO

 

**_Give me a second light I haven't smiled since yesterday. If I need to I can pay, but lemme hold this till I feel ok._ **

 

Penelope used to wake up feeling happy and on top of the world, there was a pep in her step, she saw the world in color. Today was the first day in such a long time where she felt numb, in a bottomless pit of despair, she sulked and lazily walked to her classes, everything was black and white and she thought that a frown would be permanently stuck on her face. It’s quite dramatic, she knows, since it’s only been a day. But it’s been the worst day. The worst 24 hours. The worst 1440 minutes. 

 

**_Since you burned me at the stake, all of my feelings went away, there's no feelings in my way, at least there's no feelings in my way._ **

 

Yesterday, her longtime girlfriend, Josie Saltzman accused her of being jealous and controlling. This erupted into the biggest fight they’d ever had in the three years they’d been together. Penelope had only politely tried to bring up how the girl had been getting awfully close to Hope Mikaelson. 

 

And her pride wouldn’t let her admit it, but she was a little jealous of the girl. How couldn’t she be? Hope was stunning, incredibly smart, had the prettiest smile, and not to mention that she blatantly had a crush on Josie. Josie yelled a million things that fell on deaf ears as soon as Josie said that “Maybe they’d need to take a break.”

 

And then in her rage, Penelope agreed, yelling “Maybe we should!” A squabble of “Fine!” occurred thereafter. Penelope wished that she could say that she could rewind time and take it all back. She didn’t want to break up with her. Hell, that was the last thing she wanted to do. 

 

**_I was there when you were blind to everything that I could see. I'll pretend that it's just me, but maybe really it's just me_ **

 

Penelope had been there for Josie through the worst of times. She was there when her biological mom passed away. She was there when her dad forgot about her graduation. She was always there for her when her and her sister Lizzie fought. She was there for her through everything. And she was also there for her in the best of times. She was there when Josie had landed her first job out of college. She was there for her when her birth mom came back and visited her for the first time in a few wears. And she was there for her when she got to travel to Tokyo, one of the places in the world that she dreamed of going to, 

 

But Penelope was also there when Hope deliberately hit on Josie right in front of her. But to Josie, it just flew right over her head. Maybe just  _ maybe  _ it was just her. And there was nothing more to it.

 

**_I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finally. What if you were the one for me? I hope you weren’t the one for me_ **

 

Penelope doesn’t remember what life was like before Josie. They’d only been together for three years, but it felt like it’d been an eternity. Not that she was complaining, anyway. She’d spend forever with her if she could. But it’s almost like Josie is all she had known. All she’s grown to known. All she wants to know. If that’s the case, she thinks that Josie might just be the one for me. A brief thought about her hoping that she wasn’t it for her flashed across her mind. But she doesn’t mean it. Nobody has ever had the power of making her feel the way that she does. She can make her feel the highest of highs but consequently the lowest of lows. She can make her laugh harder than ever before, smile even wider than she ever thought possible, and yet she can also make her want to rip her hair out. But that’s what it’s like. You can’t date someone who doesn’t at least somewhat annoy you. 

 

**_And I know this. I can’t read it right, between the fights._ **

 

And there are fights, that’s normal. And in the moment, she sees red, but this one had to be the worst yet. Never before in any of their fights had it exploded like that. Of course there were times where the other had to leave the room, being severely irritated, but Josie being so mad to the point that she suggested that they break up? Absolutely soul crushing.

 

**_I still need you. And I know this._ **

 

Penelope sat there, scrolling through the photo album on her phone of pictures she had with Josie. One of her favorite pictures had to be them on halloween, dancing at a costume party. Ironically, Josie was the angel while Penelope was the devil. Earlier on, they had made a bet over who’d have to wear what costume. And this was all to be decided over one, intensely serious game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Needless to say, Penelope lost. She wanted to be the angel because, well, she looks damn good in white. But seeing Josie adorably fist pump in the air and squeal out of excitement was enough for her to suck it up and let her girlfriend have it her way.

 

Then, Penelope came across another photo. A candid her best friend MG had taken, about a year into them dating, of Josie beaming brightly at Penelope who was off screen. God, they were so happy. MG had asked Josie to model for him for his photography class the boy had wanted her to ‘flirt with her eyes.’ Penelope overheard this and mimicked what he meant goofily. Josie had burst out laughing. And it had Penelope thinking what she would do to have that back.

 

**_I fell for your eyes, I just realized I still need you._ **

 

Penelope swiped to the next picture it’s of a photo booth picture set taken a couple months after they started dating. And the first photo is of Josie making an adorably goofy face at the camera while Penelope is looking at her, laughing. Then the next is of the both of them doing a dorky pose, Penelope had spontaneously grabbed the pink feathered boa and wrapped it around Josie. Followed by a picture of Josie being mid-sneeze because the feathers tickled her nose while Penelope’s had thrown her head back laughing contagiously. And the final one is of Penelope and Josie looking at each other’s eyes intently. 

 

Penelope remembers what it felt like in that moment. What it felt like to be younger and cautious with her heart. But looking at the girl’s eyes right then in there was like skydiving. It’s incredibly terrifying. There’s so many things that could go wrong. And there’s an insane amount of butterflies. But it also feels like flying. It’s exhilarating. Penelope decided that in that moment she was really falling for that girl. And she can’t help but want to do it again and again and again. And she did.

 

She fell for her again when she interacted with Pedro, the little boy Penelope always babysat. She was damn good at it too, and it made Penelope’s heart melt. She fell for her again when Josie understood that because of the degree she’d chosen to pursue, there would be plenty of late nights, yet Josie would try and stay up with her, keeping her company. And when there were times that she had exams, Josie would help her study. She fell for her again when Josie told her that she loved her for the first time. She fell for her every time they kissed. She fell for her everyday. Josie would find a new and unique way to make Penelope fall in love with her. 

 

Penelope can’t lose her. She loves her too much.

 

**_Give me 'til twenty-three, I need another year for this_ **

 

The other day, Penelope had been wondering about what it’d be like to marry Josie. Her mind wandered to the cute little house they’d share with all their pets. She’d think about how she’d be a total cliche and yell ‘Honey, I’m home!” She thought about their future children. What they’d name them. How many they’d have. Everything. She couldn’t help but get a little giddy inside.

 

Penelope was young and curious little child, and she kept inquiring about love, marriage, dating, you name it. Most people her age always cringed or were disgusted by the idea of love, claiming that they’d get cooties or something, but not Penelope. She was fascinated by it. And she remembers being so awestruck by everything that her mom had described. She loved listening to her mom’s stories about how her dad and her fell in love. It wasn’t quite as vivid or intriguing when her dad had described it, so she always would ask her mom. She was a great story teller. 

 

But then her mom passed away, and Penelope had made a promise to herself. Even though she was only seven at the time, and she had no idea if it was even realistically possible. She promised herself that she’d marry someone when she’s 23. No more, no less. That was the age that her mom and her dad got married. They got married on the 23rd of February. And they lived together in harmony for 23 years before her mom fell sick and eventually passed away. And on the 23rd of every month, her dad brings a single flower to her grave. 23 is a special number.

 

Thankfully, Penelope had Josie, and so fulfilling that promise would be easy to do. Being twenty-two allowed her for that extra year to plan everything out so that it would be absolutely perfect. The anticipation was killing her. But since they broke up, she doesn’t know if her promise is even plausible anymore. Panic set it because not once has she ever broken a promise, especially not to herself. 

 

**_Trying to teach my common sense to not waiver with my confidence. Traded my soul to free my mind, car mix to help me pass the time._ **

 

Penelope let her pride get the best of her and went over to apologize to Josie. She was confident that they just needed time and space to clear their head, and that they could work through this. Penelope wasn’t mad at her anymore. She recognized where she went wrong. But then she saw Hope’s car parked out on the curb. And through the window that Penelope tells Josie that she should really shut the curtain for since it is in the first level of the building and everyone can see in, she sees Josie with her head on Hope’s shoulder. And Hope’s running her hands comfortingly through Josie’s hair. 

 

And her common sense tells her that it’s just her comforting Josie. That there’s no sort of connotation towards it, but the irrational part of her takes over. And her heart sinks and  confidence fades.

 

She gets back in her car and drives to the bar. Penelope hates alcohol. Always has, always will. But she disregards her distaste for it and takes in shot after shot, trying to drown out the thoughts in her head saying that Josie’s already moved on. Or that Jose cheated on her with Hope. Or that Josie never loved her. And it doesn’t really work. Because alcohol is a depressant, and she finds herself wallowing in her thoughts even more. Four shots and a couple of glasses of whiskey later, she calls MG to come and pick her up, seeing as she’s in no shape to drive. 

 

**_Can I go back to being blind. Asked myself why one too many times._ **

 

Penelope wished she could go back to when she was oblivious to Hope’s flirting. She honestly had no problem with Josie and Hope getting close, it wasn’t until one of her friends had pointed it out to her. At first, she brushed it off. But then, another one of her friends made a joke about Hope being Penelope’s other girlfriend, and that’s when she started reading into things. 

 

And Penelope lost count of how many times she’d asked herself why. Why she finally blew up at Josie. Why she agreed to taking a break. Why she threw all they had out the window. Why she let her walk away. Why she let her insecurities override her common sense.

  
  


After being prompted by her best friend to eat numerous slices of bread and drink an abundance of water. And being in the company of him, she thinks she’s pretty sober now. He left a couple minutes ago and Penelope doesn’t feel like being cooped up in her apartment alone, so she grabbed her headphones, her keys, and the first coat that she could find and decided to take a walk. She left her car at the bar anyway. She figured that maybe the walk would be to go get her car, even if it was six blocks away.

 

She’d plugged in her headphones and was using the loud music as a way to drown out her thoughts. She’d made it about three blocks before she noticed the light drizzle of rain hitting her face. She was too far gone to turn back now and the rain wasn’t that bad, so she decided to keep walking.

 

**_I still need you and I know this. I fell for your eyes, I just realized I still need you._ **

 

Penelope had made it two more blocks before the rain started getting unbearable. She figured she should go inside and maybe wait it out. So, she decided to go inside the first place that she could.

 

**_I tried to say thank you, but I don’t know if you heard me._ **

 

She came across the small ice cream shop that she (and Josie) adored. What better way to drown out your feelings than comfort food? She stuck her arm out to open the door only for it to swing open and someone with their hood up and their head down held the door open for her as the person was hastily heading out. Penelope tried to say thank you to the stranger, but she got distracted in how the hoodie was awfully familiar. Sure, there were probably thousands of people that shared the same brown bear furred hoodie, but for some reason, this seemed too coincidental.

 

The stranger heard her and turned around to smile at them. Except, it wasn’t a stranger. It was Penelope’s (ex)girlfriend. 

 

Upon noticing this, all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. “Josie.” Penelope breathlessly said. 

 

“Hi.” Josie feebly said, uncomfortably looking anywhere but Penelope.

 

**_I know it wasn’t your plan, to just be the one to hurt me. My thoughts versus my feelings, my thoughts on you hit the ceiling._ **

 

“I went over to your apartment earlier. And I saw you and Hope.” Penelope insecurely vocalized.

 

Josie thought she’d apologize to her, but that wasn’t the case. “Oh my god, are we still doing this?” Josie frustratedly pressed her hands to her temples. “She’s just a friend! Why can’t you just get that through your head?” The heavy rain was pouring down, but neither of the girls cared.

 

“What was she doing over?” Penelope asked without missing a beat.

 

Josie groaned. “She was comforting me because I was heartbroken and spent all of last night and today crying over you! That’s it.”

 

**_And I know this. I can’t read it right, between the fights. I still need you._ **

 

“I need to know if you have feelings for Hope.” Penelope voiced.

 

Josie rolled her eyes. “I’ve told you this a million times before. I do not have feelings for her. God, I only have feelings for you! If you could get that through your thick skull then maybe we wouldn’t have needed to break up. 

 

The taller brunette had had enough of this conversation and started walking away to her car. She didn’t hear Penelope trailing behind her, and she couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed that she wasn’t fighting for her. 

 

**_I fell for your eyes, I just realized I still need you._ **

 

“Josie please, I don’t want to break up.” Penelope shouted across the parking lot breathlessly. “Okay? That’s the last thing that I want to do.” 

 

Penelope shouted again. “I believe you. I’m sorry for not trusting you, for accusing you for something I know you wouldn’t do to me. I’ll try and be better, I promise. I don’t want to seem like a controlling girlfriend or anything. And I don’t want to make you stop being friends with Hope because I know she’s a good friend to you.”

 

When Josie halted her steps, prompting Penelope to continue, the short brunette “If I could take it all back, I would.” Penelope got within five feet from the girl. “Because I intend to marry you.” And Penelope takes out the small box hidden in her coat pocket. She bent down on one knee on the wet cement of the parking lot, showcasing the beautiful ring perched inside the box. “I love you so much Josie Saltzman. I don’t want to lose you.”

 

Josie’s at a loss for words. She opens her mouth to say something, but it all gets stuck in her throat. “Oh my god.” Is all she can croak out. She cups her hand over her mouth, too shocked to say anything else.

 

“This is not at all how I planned on proposing to you…” Penelope honestly spoke. The rain was still pouring down, drenching her. “Since photos and polaroids are kind of our thing, I was thinking of bringing you out to scenic places and have you pose for four pictures like you’re looking at the view.” Penelope explained still on her bended knee. 

 

“While your back is turned away from me, I’d hold out a piece of paper that says ‘will you marry me?’ with each word being in their respective photos. And at the end of it, I’d say ‘let’s look back at our photos to see if they developed properly’” Penelope voiced. “But I felt the ring in my pocket and I don’t know, I just did it in the spur of the moment.” She nervously chuckled at the end. Her knee aching for being in this position on the cement for so long.

 

And yet, Josie still hasn’t said anything. Penelope started to get anxious. 

 

**_I still need you._ **

 

“Josie?” Penelope apprehensively asked. “Kinda need an answer here… Whether you break my heart or not.” The short brunette tried lightly joking to cover up the fact that she was absolutely terrified. 

 

Finally, Josie spoke up, however it wasn’t an answer to her question. “What about your whole ‘not getting married ‘till 23 thing? You never break a promise.” Josie knew about Penelope’s promise since they’d talked about getting married before, and Penelope had been truthfully honest.

 

Penelope took a moment because Josie’s right. She unknowingly just broke her own promise. She furrowed her brow but then she thought of a loophole. “Well, it just said married. It never said engaged. If you’ll still have me, we would be engaged for a year before getting married. Therefore, no promise was broken.”

 

“Yes.” Josie simply said almost inaudibly. 

 

“What?” Penelope scrunched up her face, not sure if she heard her correctly.

 

“Yes!” Josie shouted. “Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” 

 

That three letter word was enough for Penelope to feel so relieved. She immediately got up off her bended knee and closed the distance between the two.

 

When their lips met for the first time in over 24 hours, it was like magic. It didn’t matter that the two of them were drenched from head to toe in rain water. Because the world fell away and all they noticed was each other. 

 

Penelope moved her hands towards Josie’s waist and Josie’s hands rested on the sides of the girl’s shoulders. The kiss was innocent really, but it held all the love and affection they’d felt for each other. The two pulled back and rested their foreheads against each other, smiling and looking in each other’s eyes. 

 

“I love you.” Penelope whispered.

 

Josie smiled even wider. “I love you too.” 

Penelope slipped the ring onto Josie’s finger and pecked her lips again. Josie couldn’t stop gushing about how pretty the ring was and how cute Penelope’s proposal idea was, but she also talked about how the proposal in the rain was pretty perfect too. Because as long as she’s with Penelope, everything is alright. Everything is perfect. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I lowkey rushed the ending. Hope this was adequate enough for you all. Let me know how this made you feel. 
> 
> -Kai (@phosiepark on twitter)


End file.
